It’s hard to wrap my head around the fact that half my family is gone. I’m missing my parents with an ache that I can’t quite describe. I know how lucky I was to have a stable family and loving parents. And I know most of us will experience this…

I like change. I like movement. I love a big move, the bigger the better; the further the better. 2021 was all about change and movement and now I’m trying to figure out how to make 2022 about enjoying that change. My dad died in 2021 — he was 95…

Thinking about my dad today on this first Memorial Day without him. My dad was one of those WWII heroes though he didn’t see it that way. He was just following orders, just doing his job. He hated war, never wanted to glamorize it and always rebuffed those who did…

We’ve been waiting all day for test results — we’re still waiting We were hoping for news today, preferably good news, from dad’s doctors. Instead, we waited, all day, but no news came. Right now, the waiting is the hardest part. But I know really that what’s coming next will…

I spent the afternoon at the hospital with my dad. He had no recollection of his complete confusion last night and I didn’t bring it up. He actually said he had, “a pretty good night.” I don’t think I slept at all. We’re not sure what’s coming his way. The…

I miss dad’s gentler delusions Dad doesn’t know where he is, why he’s there, or why we’ve left him. Or the big one, why we’ve abandoned him. Of course, we haven’t done any of these things, but he doesn’t see that. All he can focus on is his mounting anxiety…

How casually hearing, “Your dad has heart failure” is like a punch to the gut The nurse said it so casually, like she was saying, “Please pass the salt.” “Your dad has heart failure.” Her high voice had a sing-song ring but it was like a punch to the gut…

Grateful that a night in the ICU gave dad his breath back Aging is so complicated. Mix-in family dynamics, anxiety, and a pandemic raging and it makes it even more challenging. We joke that dad has nine lives. He’s the boy who cried wolf again and again and again. He’s…

Dad’s labored breathing lands him back in the hospital Here we go. Again. My sister and I went to visit our dad today and he was off, way off. He’s had a cough and some wheezing for a week now— coupled with his anxiety, everyone said, “Let’s watch him, it’s…